Why please people

Here are five affordable therapy options to get you started. If you feel exhausted from trying to keep everyone happy, consider talking to a therapist about how you can make yourself happy first.

Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. Self-care is more than what some have commercialized it to be. But why are we still feeling like self-care is selfish?

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Experts say the COVID pandemic added to the stresses of job insecurity and food shortages already felt by People of Color and young adults. You've heard the term countless times, but what does having a type A personality actually mean?

We'll go over common traits, how they compare to type…. Psychologists and psychiatrists have a lot in common, but they also have some key differences. Nothing is. If you have misophonia, certain sounds might trigger intense irritation, disgust, and physical discomfort. Get the details on symptoms, treatments…. Health Conditions Discover Plan Connect. Mental Health. Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, Ph. We may have some ideas given their behavior, but remember even our observations filter through our assumptions and negativity bias , so they arent completely accurate.

Consider that your assumptions might be wrong. Of course, some people really dont like you or your behavior. Thats inevitable. We cant control what others think about us. All we can do is try to live authentically such that we feel good about our choices and actions.

When you feel good about what youre doing, you wont care so much about whether others approve. This is because your need for external approval is rooted in your own insecurities.

For example, if I need rest because Im getting sick and tell a coworker that I cant cover her shift tomorrow, I probably wont feel bad about it. I dont need her approval because I know that Im doing what I need resting. Reflective Questions: What prevents you from being assertive? How can you tolerate the pain of someone being angry at you or not liking you?

How can you comfort yourself? What can you say to yourself to remind yourself that disagreeing is okay and meeting your own needs is healthy? As we work to overcome problematic people-pleasing, we need to find a balance between pleasing others meeting their needs and pleasing ourselves meeting our own needs.

We can do this by:. Reflective Questions: How can you balance your needs and other peoples needs? How can you ask for what you need? How can you express your opinions and ideas more honestly?

How will your health and relationships improve if you take better care of yourself? Photo by Ivan Jevtic on Unsplash. Why do we need to live life? There are many possible answers to that question, and here are 22 of them, together with an exercise to find your own…. Trauma can impact your life in many ways. You feel useful when you have the ability to help others.

My self-worth just plummeted. Later on, I knew that self-worth needs to come from within, not from outside. Where would our self-worth be? Sometimes, people are eager to please others because they lack self-love. They have the desire to be loved and liked.

They thought that by pleasing others, other people would give them love and fill the void inside of them. Even if they have no desire to obey their parents, they still obey their parents because they want to receive love from them.

And when they do not receive love from their parents , their survival is threatened. No food, no shelter, no toys! They are so nice to everyone but ironically, the one person they cannot be nice to, is themselves. Disclosure: There might be affiliate links on this page.

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This means I will earn a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links but it will be at no additional cost to you. Feeling Lonely and Craving for Deep Connection? A person can be genuinely compassionate, loving, empathetic, and concerned for others with none of the above-mentioned reasons underlying it.

This constant urge of showing compassion becomes problematic when there is no time and compassion for self. Being too compassionate or totally forgetting to put oneself on the priority list can make an individual dive into the dark side of being nice, often making them experience compassion fatigue. So, even if you are compassionate by heart with no hidden motive attached, make sure you practice it in check. No matter which reason explains your people-pleasing behavior it is crucial to note here that there are several red flags associated with this desire to be nice to others.

We are not saying that pleasing others is always bad, but if it ends up being a defining feature of your lifestyle and personality it becomes a matter of concern as it ends up taking a toll on you.

Here is a small tip for you to start working on these reasons behind people-pleasing start practicing self-care in your life. Your email address will not be published. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Talk About Your Mental Health. Find the list of best online therapy and counseling programs here. Plus, also find answers to all your questions related to online counseling and its platforms.

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