What does marriage really mean

And you imagine eating out at nice restaurants, and screwing, and eating out and screwing and eating out and screwing. True romance, though, is more like the movie True Romance : Two deluded, lazy people face a bewildering sea of filth and blood and gore together, but they make it through somehow, some way, without losing their minds completely.

Yes, I think it was! That is next-level romance right there! And then, suddenly, all you do is talk to the hairless alien and feed it with your own body a miracle! Once you have kids, even in a first-world country, you enter a kind of simulation of third-world living.

You and your spouse are slogging through the slop of survival together. Mark my words. You feel more like two herd animals bumping along, all blank stares and pensive chewing. The years go by, and it gets less desperate. It makes you both chuckle. Our dumb culture tricks us into believing that romance is the suspense of not knowing whether someone loves you or not yet, the suspense of wanting to have sex but not being able to yet, the suspense of wanting all problems and puzzles to be solved by one person, without knowing if they have any time or affinity for your particular puzzles yet.

We think romance is a mystery in which you add up clues that you will be loved. Romance must be carefully staged and art-directed, so everyone looks better than they usually do and seems sexier and better than they actually are, so the suspense can remain intact.

You are not better than you are, though, and neither is your partner. Laughing at how beaten-down you sometimes are, in your tireless quest to survive, is romance. Maybe suspense yields to the suspension of disbelief.

As I did so, it struck me how varied, and diverse our readers are — that is, from all walks of life, with all kinds of life experience, and, it seems, lots of different views and perspectives of what marriage means. It was really important to my team and I, that our Lovettes were able to express a personal understanding of marriage and what it means to them.

But if blogging for five and a half years and indeed being married for almost six, has taught me anything, it is that marriage is the reason we do all and any of this crazy wedding planning in the first place. There is a reason we commit to love and support one another through thick and thin, in the good times and the bad, in sickness and in health; life happens after your wedding, and it will be good and bad and everything in between.

It will be exciting and fun and rewarding and exhilarating. It will also be painful and challenging and disappointing and depressing and there might, there just might even be days you feel like throwing the towel in all together on your marriage, particularly during those times when life has dealt you a bad card or your coping mechanisms have taken a battering. What I have learned is that marriage is like a super-strength glue, that binds and holds together all the pages and chapters in the book of life.

It represents a sense of foundation and strength and unity. The spine on the book of life, that is lined with that super strength glue and that holds all those page and chapters together, is, to me, like marriage.

That, to me, is a little what marriage represents, but as to what it means? Well, for me personally, my marriage means strength when I feel weak, it means love and knowing that someone is there to support me when I feel overworked and exhausted. It means knowing that someone has got my back. It means learning to be kinder, more humble and giving — less selfish, more selfless, and preparing to sacrifice for the sake of the one your love.

It gives me a reason to try to always be the best wife, companion, mother and friend I could ever be. Marriage gives my life purpose, and focus. One of the questions we asked in our application to become a Lovette was, Wh at does marriage mean to you?

Below, are some of those responses that really stood out to me…. Martin truly is the man I was meant to wait my whole life to meet. Sometimes as Marilyn would say, some things have to fall apart so that better things can fall together. This is certainly true for me. He amazes me everyday and I know we have a unique and impenetrable bond. So marriage really means forever, never forgetting that a wedding is one day of the rest of your journey in life, and I am so incredibly honoured to have him by my side.

It means no more niggly fears or doubts. The invisible tie that binds you together forever. To the rest of the world you are now a unit. And if night should ever fall, it is the internal knowing that your love and commitment for one another was enough.

Then I met Christian and fell in love! Although getting married wont physically change anything we already own our home together , I still feel strongly that marriage will bond us together, from being a couple, to being family. Growing up I had the instability of a split family, and whilst some might look at what Christian and I have as boring, I love it! I feel loved, happy and secure. On the contrary, the meaning of marriage implies completing and complementing one another to such an extent that you can both be better together than you could have been as singles.

Oneness does not happen automatically as you start living together — it requires a determined effort and considerable time spent together, getting to know one another deeply. As you learn how to communicate effectively and how to resolve your conflicts sooner rather than later, you will find your oneness and intimacy increasing.

It is also important to define your expectations clearly and find the middle ground in decision making. For most couples, the answer to what is marriage, lies in one of the most profound and wonderful privileges given to a married couple — it is the privilege of bringing forth children into this world. A secure and happy marriage is the best context in which to raise a child. A couple, who are united in loving and teaching their offspring, will train them to become mature adults who are ready to make a valuable contribution to society.

This facet of shaping the future generation can and does indeed bring true meaning to marriage. But again, child rearing , like the other facets, does not come automatically or even easily. In fact, the challenges of parenting are renowned for placing a certain strain on the marriage relationship. But, you do understand the real meaning of marriage and love once you become proud parents to your doting children.

That is why it is essential to keep your priorities firmly in place when children start arriving — remember your spouse always comes first , and then your children. By keeping this order clear, your marriage will be able to survive intact and blessed even when the nest is empty again. They know that children may ask for more attention but making them the center of your universe is not the right thing to do.

A healthy marriage where each partner pays adequate attention to the other, contributes to healthy relationships and healthier parenting attitudes. Understanding your priorities which change with time is the true meaning of marriage and this is the secret to a happy married life.

Understanding the marriage definition is not easy unless you are married. When you search the web for the marriage meaning, you will get many definitions for it.

But, it is only the married couples who truly understand the meaning of it. Everything you knew before the marriage changes. This research may imply that we should be forgiving of the behavior of a loved one and not demand that a spouse change her or his behavior, the psychologists said.

UCLA is a national and international leader in the breadth and quality of its academic, research, health care, cultural, continuing education and athletic programs. Six alumni and five faculty have been awarded the Nobel Prize. Stuart Wolpert February 1, Tags: behavior psychology relationships. Sign up for a daily briefing. All RSS Feeds.

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