Can you stop being jealous and insecure

Try to put your emotions to one side just for a second and see them for the human being they are. What you can do is find a middle-ground that makes you feel better without demanding that they change their behaviors entirely. Sometimes our friends or partners do nothing to make us jealous. It all comes from within our minds. You might find yourself resenting a close friend for no reason other than your own insecurities.

You might find yourself disliking your friend , even though you love them, because they represent the things that you want in your own life. This is natural, and most of us are drawn to people who we see as aspirational.

This might mean sitting down with your partner and planning out a way to make sure you feel secure. You feel jealous of how close your partner is to someone else because you love them so much and want them all to yourself. This is unrealistic, of course, but you can still think of the positives — they are with you and they want to be with you. Any adult is capable of ending a relationship if they no longer want it, and you have to trust that your partner would do that.

Dealing with feelings of jealousy can be very upsetting, which is why being honest with yourself early on is so important. Remember that these feelings often arise because you care about someone, which you can turn around to be a positive.

By speaking about these issues, your partner, friend, or colleague will respect you and be more open to finding ways to help. Still not sure what to do about the jealousy you feel?

Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Simply click here to chat. Jealous feelings can lead to lowered self-worth, emotional instability, or breaking of relationships. If you're someone who's constantly wondering how to stop being jealous in a relationship or jealous of others—or how to avoid catching feelings of envy in the first place—a few psychology experts share actionable tips for keeping jealousy at bay and learning how to appreciate both what you have and what others have.

More often than not, those negative feelings aren't about the person you're jealous of—it's about something going on in your life. Instead of spending excessive time and energy thinking about someone else's successes or achievements and convincing yourself that they don't deserve them, while you do , turn your outlook around: Think about what you bring to the table.

You have abilities and talents that others don't have—that's what makes being human interesting. Uncover your dreams and build on your own unique skill sets because no two people have the same composition of qualities and gifts.

Another thing you should remember: You might see everyone's biggest successes and achievements play out on social media, but a feed really is just a highlight reel of their life. Move in the direction of your dreams every single day: Take small steps, have grace for yourself, and remember that with every action you either succeed or you learn.

When we get jealous, we often feel as if another person has something we can't have ourselves. But, in reality, nobody is blocking your path to success. Their success isn't blocking the path for us, it is up to us what we do. Instead of seeing someone else's accomplishments as dimming your life, use it as inspiration. In fact, Chansky recommends networking with the person who you're jealous of to learn from them. Once you've understood how they got to where you want to be, get busy.

Not to compete with them or "win," but to really work toward a similar goal that you've identified as wanting to accomplish, too. Try to remember that your partner is choosing to be with you.

The ongoing comparisons are not only unnecessary , but they'll just make you feel worse. According to Shannon Chavez , licensed psychologist and intimacy expert for K-Y, jealousy in a relationship can help bring underlying issues to the surface.

For example, if you haven't fully worked through childhood insecurities or infidelity from a past relationship, it may show up in the way you behave in your current relationship. Before you have a conversation with your partner, identify where your feelings are coming from. It's completely normal to find other people attractive from time to time. Unless your partner is being obnoxious about their attraction or openly flirting with others, it doesn't have to be an issue.

According to Chavez, it's important to develop realistic expectations in the relationship and remember that you can't control someone else's behavior. Put a rubber band around your wrist , and each time you start feeling yourself slip into jealousy, snap the rubber band. As Danielle Maack, Ph. In many cases, jealousy is an internal battle, so take steps to get to know and work on yourself. Then share those findings with your partner.

If anything, your friend can be there to listen to you as you vent. Getting support from a professional therapist can also help you work through and overcome the feelings that keep you stuck. Learning appreciation and gratitude for what you have will help you focus on the positives of your relationship.

As John Kenny , transformational relationship coach, tells Bustle, think about what your partner does do for you rather than what they don't, or of all the times when they're there for you versus when they're not. If there's nothing positive you can find, then it may be time to move on.

It's worth your time to think through how your jealousy is negatively affecting you as an individual. For example, being constantly on edge because your partner is talking to or texting someone isn't healthy for you or your relationship.

By fully coming to terms with how the jealousy is changing you or making you behave and feel , you may be more apt to figure out how to get over jealousy and let it go.